“And all the other jewels around me
They astounded me at first
I covered up my heart in boundaries
And all the fakes, they called me cursed
But I’m not cursed, I’m not cursed
I was just covered in dirt”
Marina and the Diamonds from the song “Solitaire”
For a dozen or more years I was circling the drain and I didn’t know it. As the years went by the arc of swinging inward became tighter : Bad luck and I were best friends. I couldn’t make money to save my life. Once a good employee, after being fired in 2010 I could no longer keep a job.
There’s a difference in me now, even if I keep a wary eye on life, just daring it to do something. The difference is a mix of spirituality and persistence. My spiritual practice has done much to raise me out of the muck, but persistence in being an artist, in learning marketing, and sticking to my web design business long enough to get the referrals I’m looking for, that’s what pulled me back up the drain.
If there’s one thing that’s clean about me, it’s my art. Not messed up. Like a diamond that can be covered in dirt but never diminished in its capability of shining. In my heart of hearts, I am that diamond.
These new photos aren’t really gems but tree leaves from my front yard. But I hope they give the spark to brush off the dirt and dazzle those who said you couldn’t. You’re not cursed.